Supermumma Stories

9 long days overdue but well worth the wait. 

My second baby was born as what is known as a BBA (birth before arrival), meaning that our baby was born before we could get to the hospital. We were lucky he was delivered safely and healthy at home on our bedroom floor by my husband with assistance from the amazing 000 operator. It was amazing, scary and crazy all rolled into one. Something I would never change for the world. But that’s a whole story on its own!

Little did I know though, that when I got pregnant again for the 3rd time, just how much anxiety that previous birth experience would cloud my pregnancy. Not to mention cause my husband a lot of anxiety around the delivery too. As much as he loves being the one who delivered our second baby at home, it was also terrifying for him too and something he just wasn’t keen on repeating.

Hello my name is Donna and I am 44 years old. I am a full time working mama and I am married to a wonderful shift working hubby Linc. We have two beautiful girls Gemma (10 and a half) and Jasmine (who has just turned 9) and we have a pretty busy life with the girls dancing commitments so on our weekends we cherish family time.

Linc and I met when we were both 29 (on a blind date set up by friends!) and we pretty much knew we wanted to settle down and start a family relatively quickly. We bought a house within 2 and a half years and our dreams were starting.

The day we moved in our house, in March 2004, I was really tired. I put it down to moving house and winding down for a few weeks. A few days later an accidental opening of a draw revealed an engagement ring I wasn’t meant to see for a few weeks and bang we were engaged. Excitement all round!

Later that week I realised my period was late… I thought it was due the following week but checked my calculations and went and bought a test which came up positive. I was so shocked… Linc and I were so excited I went out and bought every pregnancy book! I went to my GP who confirmed it and then booked an appointment with my gyno/obstetrician, a wonderful doctor I had seen for a few years. I was ordered blood tests to check my HCG levels and had an estimated due date of Nov 27th 2004.

Being only 5 or so weeks pregnant I felt symptoms such as swollen boobs but nothing too obvious. Unfortunately not long after the excitement I started to bleed. I called my doctor who ordered another lot of bloods and this is where I learnt all about the rise and falls of HCG levels. My obstetrician called late one afternoon, between delivering babies, to tell me my levels weren’t rising and that a miscarriage was ‘imminent’. I remember asking if I could have hcg or progesterone injections to bump up the levels, practically pleading, to which I was told in a sympathetic but matter of fact way – no there is no hope. And within a few days I lost our first baby at 7 weeks.

I get induced as bubs is getting into a not such a good state, neither am I, and bubs is posterior so its agonising. I literally can’t breath and beg for an epidural. By this state I can’t even take a deep breath to hold still inbetween contractions because there is no time so I’m held down and ‘oooh yea feel some relief’. Not a full epidural because the babies in distress and we need all hands on deck. By the time it comes to push I have 15 doctors in the room and a guy vacuuming out my baby while I push and yes ‘scream’!

Out he finally comes… not really breathing and not crying onto my chest… then taken swiftly from me as the large gathering of doctors work on him and then he is taken up to the neonatal ward. I’m left drained, and sore, throwing up in a bag, wondering if he is even gonna make it. I get wheel chaired up to the ward later to see him attached to tubes and in a nappy… but alive!

Time moves on and my son is diagnosed with Autism. Again life tests me and continues to to this very day. After a period of grieving, I summon the strength only mums have and deal with that shit.

In the meantime my marriage is crumbling. Autism, Tourette’s tics, hyperactivity, sibling rivalry, lack of sleep, stress, lack of making time for each other, and lack of time for each other, feeling alone and scared, I am pushed to my absolute limits over and over again.

No one can help me or make it all better…